Saturday, September 3, 2011


With Fluffy the Cat and I having moved our (oft-planned but seldom executed) ride to Monday to take advantage of the holiday, I woke up early and feeling energetic.

"Aha" says I, consulting my handy Junior Woodchuck Guidebook. "When a Junior Woodchuck has time on his hands, energy, beautiful weather outside and a sudden craving for the most nutritious breakfast he has eaten in weeks, he should ride to the nearest purveyor of light calorie, high nutrient food and consume said victuals."

So I pumped up my bike tires, through on my sunglasses and I-pod and headed out the door. Then I thought, "This might be a good time to put on some clothes."

Returning to ye olde abode, I donned shorts, a water-wicking athletic shirt, shoes and headed out the door, this time appropriately attired.

First I did a light bit of reconnaissance riding to find out if the nearby "hidden" tennis courts had lights for night play. Then I headed for the nearby commissary whereby I might consume said hearty meal with which I desired to break my fast.

Unfortunately, the new-fangled mechanical device with which I hoped to check off my time and mileage was, how do you say, not working? Oh, yes, this is how you say it; my Map My ride had weak GPS signal and thus was not working.

I was nearly three minutes into my ride and it said I had gone exactly nowhere.

Anyhow, the first segment of the ride was marvelous. It was along the stretch of the Fanno Creek Trail that begins outside the apartment complex.

Unlike my massive fail-ride, this time there were no hallucinations, no visitations by comic book fictional heroes, no suddenly appearing hemmorhoidal issues.

And, unlike the subsequent ride, this time I was not pedaling like a vaguely spastic rutabaga. This time I started at a genuinely reasonable pace, scaled back when my leg told me it was not a good idea to press, and rode.

Up hill and down I went, being slowed only by red lights, stop signs, and my own lack of biking talent. At last I arrived at that paragon of smart eating, Burger King whereupon I consumed a scrumptious, nutritious, and heartily delicious delectable smorgasbord of cini-minis and French Toast sticks.

The first bit of the ride was nothing spectacular. 5.85 miles at 14.3 mph (I should point out it later logged as 6.03 miles on the main sightly faster. I think it picked up the first three minutes of my ride on the main screen, but not the one I linked.)

Smacking my lips, I concluded my repast and viewed the nearby pavement with a modicum of trepidation. The TV Highway is a heavily traveled road...yet I wanted to ride out to Rainy Day Games and see if my old friend Adam was there. Hoisting my (not very) trim frame on the (not very) trim bike frame, I headed out along said car-path, only to discover I had chagrin.

And much to the chagrin I had, there was no bike path.

Hurriedly clicking off my music, I tuned my Ipod to the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to see what wisdom it might impart for this situation.

"Find a bike path, numbskull." The answer was imparted in no uncertain terms. Fortunately, I did locate a bike path...just as I was about to turn off the major thoroughfare, I found there was a spacious, extremely wide bike path. Continuing apace, i rode out to Rainy Day Games...only to find they had not opened. Nor had the nearby Franz Bakery Outlet Store, so my secondary nefarious plot to acquire a pepperoni pack was thwarted.

I then decided to ride by the old homestead on Cornell...well, actually I decided to see if the tennis courts at Terra Linda were lighted. So I set off on 185th to Cornell. It was an exhilarating ride full of hills that I absolutely was demolishing.

The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook refers to this as a "punishing ride" suspects the punishment was for my stupidity of riding the TV highway portion with no smurfing bike lane.

Anyhow, from there I rode down Allen Blvd, ironically passing less than a block from where my good from Fluffy the Bunny and his snuggle-bunny Junior Woodchuckette dwell.

At the light by their apartment I saw 2 "real" bike riders at the next light, the one at the far end of the Nike campus. Oho, a see, this is a slight but long uphill, the type which often wears on me. I decided to see if I could catch them.

Not only did I catch them...I rode behind them for almost three miles. Not only did I have the speed and stamina to do this...I was chafing.

Because they were slow. I think they were doing maybe 10 or 11 miles per hour. I kept gearing down so I did not run over them.

So I took an alternate route home.

16.6 miles in 59 minutes. Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.

The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook is please with my efforts.

As am I. This ride actually worked out almost exactly the way I designed it. I had no particular goals of time, speed, destination other than the aforementioned Burger King. I just wanted to do a different ride, not be too long to save energy for the longer ride Monday, and get some exercise on a beautiful day.

I saw some places I have not been for a while, scoped out some tennis court locations, and had a really great time. It was a good ride.


  1. LOL! Methinks you're going to kick Fluffy's rear on the next ride. It's in the manual ;)

  2. Perchance...yet my Sunday pm activities shall inhibit the power, speed and agility with which I shall pedal on our journey, so he bids fair to whale on my poor attempts

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